What are you trying to do?

Yeah I asked, see the thing is sometimes (a lot of the time) we go on default*. Simply we do what we’ve always done (I’ll come back to that) just because it’s the norm** and what’s expected***. Now for me there’s a hell load of rants in that one statement alone. A hell load of WTF moments for which I could ahhhhh and all kinds of crazy on but what what would that achieve and what am I trying to do?

Ok so first lets (calmly) debunk those myths before we move on to the juicy parts:

*D E F A U L T

You don’t have one, you weren’t born with it, you learned it, so let’s replace it with a new one

**N O R M

There isn’t one, everyone’s is different and who says it’s static, lets mix it up a little

***E X P E C T E D

It’s not possible to please everyone as we all have different views

In short the default, norm, expected is a big ole myth. Designed by god knows who to keep us in a place that in the main keeps us from doing the one thing us humans are designed to do … E V O L V E.

On reflection, we’re all guilty of setting this myth, following the status quo but today I invite you to mix it up a little. Think like you’re making a cocktail. Today it’s time to throw away the recipe guide, look to those shiny bottles, sparkling glasses, garnishes and fancy accessories and make a new signature special cocktail that’s uniquely you!

I should say this download comes from a place where never before have I seen such diversity — Central Park. As I sit on the grass, resting the weary legs that’ve trekked this eclectic city, the view around me is both inspiring and calming. Moms (when in America it’s mom not mum) pushing babies, lads chucking an American football (I guess that’s just a football here), groups joining groups to throwing a frisbee, bike riders, runners (it’s seriously hot), horse drawn carts pulling sight seeing tourists, friends catching up and the odd dog cooling off in the shade. So it got me thinking…

What are you trying to do? See it’s not possible to set a default, a norm or what’s expected when everyone’s so different … and isn’t that the point?! We’re all different. Different ages, genders, relationships, skills, passions, desires, dreams etc etc, so why do we try and be like everyone else? To fit in? Seriously! What is fitting in? A little newsflash, “you’re never going to fit in with everyone!” So quit trying to be liked or have approval.

What if you thought about what you’re truly trying to do? Yes, put yourself first. What if you followed that feeling, that ❤️pull unconditionally regardless of the fear, the pain, the challenges. Well it’d feel epic for a start, your happy vibes would be jumping like a minion on super speed.

But that alone isn’t enough. Keep your dreams and desires inside and they stay there not materialising fully. Now here’s the next thing; put it out there. Yes, I said it, put it out there. You may feel scared, some may scoff, some may laugh but who cares they don’t live your life! Quit trying to be liked or have approval. See when you put it out there, be brave when you aren’t feeling it, proud when you’re taking the first step, this is where the magic happens … You’ll find a tribe of people like you on a similar mission.

Whether you’re a one woman band, building an empire, insular or the life and sole of the party isn’t it great to know you have someone patting you on the back, holding your hand and kicking or cuddling you when you need it. When you unite with a tribe of people who have a common interest you (and they) get a win:win — support, diversity, encouragement, belief and all without bitchiness or jealousy. On a side note if you feel that creeping in, tackle it, cut it out immediately, you don’t need that BS spoiling your vibe.

Me, I love being surrounded by women (and guys, but I work with women) on a similar mission. We’re in different industries, some with a degree of crossover, we have a common aim but we’re all different in our own way. We all have our own unique traits, ways and behaviours; like there’s only one of you, there’s only one of me but our diversity and what we’re trying to do bonds us so there’s no default, norm or expected!

I mentioned at the start about ‘what we’ve always done’. That’s conditioning, it’s rubbish and it’s time to change it. See it’s linked to the default, norm and expected and we’ve just kick ed those to the kerb so let’s replace it and do what ‘we want to do’ and let’s do it surrounded by a tribe of likeminded souls who vary in shape, stature and expertise but are all bound by a passion. Let’s stride forward with a cry to arms like in Braveheart! Are you in? I sure am!

Today, I invite, I urge you to take stock, listen to that feeling, block out the annoying buzzing around you (aka negativity and ‘well meaning’ people) and ask yourself; WHAT AM I TRYING TO DO? Take yourself on a lunch date, turn off your phone, stop thinking about the washing/ironing/to do list and the million other things on your mind and brain dump it down (I find a nice new notebook helps this process or use the template I’ve created specially for you).

It may feel and look chaotic, childlike even or maybe you’re a neat writer. The point is to write it all down, step back and see the trends and words that leap out. A little tip: I’ve also included WHAT AM I NOT TRYING TO DO? It’s a place where saying the things that I absolutely don’t want pulls me to what I do want!

Lastly, if you’re feeling alone. Maybe you’re still wrestling with what you do want (see above lunch date exercise #prosecco optional), or maybe you know but haven’t put it out there. I hear you, I’ve been there and it sucks, so don’t be scared, don’t be alone, reach out, from one woman to another, I’ll be your cheerleader!

Let’s do it!

Much love,

Laura x

PS-Want to know how I left the corporate world and built a business that I love, all in less than 12 months. Want to know how I can help you get clarity so that you too can turn your package passion into a business … Drop me a message … The Time Is Now!

PPS-Yes, a FREE Facebook group for ladies who want to grow a business & lifestyle we love. It is possible ladies! 

Laura Jobes