Habits, rabbits ... It's time for C&C!
How many times have you set yourself a target, a goal, a must do? How many times have you declared; 'Today's the day it all starts!' (or words to that effect)? You start a diet (hate the 'D' word). You sit down to write that client proposal. You promise to put the phone down at dinner ... and what happens? Chances are the 'D' is out of the window and replaced by wine Wednesday, the client proposal, oh yeah, well we've just got sidetracked organising my pretty notebooks, the phone, yep, that's totally going down as soon as we've refreshed Facebook for the millionth time. Familiar?
You can replace any of these examples with your own, come on, you know the things you do that add next to zero value and actually sabotage what you say you truly want. We all do it:
- We want to feel body confident and look amazing in that outfit, BUT the call of the cake/cocktail/cheese etc. 😳
- We want that client, it'll be a boost to our income goals and they are our ideal dream client, BUT the desk is messy and it just needs to be organised now. 😳
- We want to have fulfilled relationship, we know we should talk to our partner, BUT what if we miss an important meme or a funny video on social media, surely the world will end. 😳
It's all about that BUT, but is it? See I think the 'big but' gets a bad rap (see earlier blog post), I'm totally blaming 'buts' distant cousin 'habit'. Habit is a cheeky one, you do something, then again, then again, and before you know it, you don't realise you're doing it? I know you're nodding, I know you're thinking right now of those things you do almost involuntarily: the biscuit with your coffee, the watching TV till you fall asleep, the saying 'yes' to things that you really don't want to do ... It sucks doesn't it! Many of the habits we fall into aren't actually serving us but we do them because, well it's a habit and that's that.
Hhhhmmmm, today I'm calling BS on that (yes that's how I strong I feel about it), so here comes a large dose of tough love. You my friend are an adult, you choose your actions, you choose where to give your time and energy, you choose what to put in your mouth, you choose what you let in and what you release. In short, the habit you've created is totally that ... Made by You.
Now maybe you're reading this rolling your eyes thinking; 'Well it's ok for you because I've got a job/kids/no support/an illness/finance issues/no confidence/______ (add your own)'. Again, I'll say with love truly from the bottom of my ❤️; "We all have a story, limitations, restrictions. We all have concerns, doubts, haters even but you gorgeous, you are the decider, you are the action taker." None of us have the perfect life, we all have a backstory, man alive you just need to look at some of the greats to see the true adversity and pain they've overcome. Bottom line is we all have our demons and insecurities. The art (and it is an art in my opinion) is how you take these, how you acknowledge them and how you twist them to your advantage and that my friend isn't one off occurrence.
Think for a second about Usain Bolt, do you think he was born a world record breaking athlete? What about Steve Jobs, do you think he started Apple and it instantly became an overnight empire? What about Beyonce, do you think she was born a global singing sensation with a body that screams leotard? NO! Of course not! They had a gift, but that gift wasn't obvious at birth and that gift didn't just appear, they crafted it, nurtured it, tested it, pushed it, owned it.
Regardless of what you class as greatness the simple fact is they tried and tested, failed forward and downright failed, fell over and got up, they tweaked, rinsed and repeat, and ta daaaa, that's what becomes a habit. The choice (yes that word again), is totally our own, we each have a choice to do things that move us towards or away from our goals, the challenge is that it's easy to fall into a poor habit, easy to find other priorities (because I told you our, ok my stationary organisation game needs to be strong!), easy to do what's easy to do and easy to put off what doesn't excite us.
So we know the issue (thanks Laura!), but I'm totally about solutions. Well what if you imagined a little devil (or angel) on your shoulder, a little voice in your head, or even one of those buzzers that gives you a little electric shock (nothing too dangerous, just enough to zap you), a virtual slap if you like. Imagine each time you fall into these non purposeful habits that you got a short sharp reminder that these were well, being straightforward - total drivel, not beneficial and were actually taking you further away from the life you say you want to have, the person you want to be and the things you want to experience ... It's a bit shocking isn't it, but that's the reality.
Every action has a consequence, eat lots of cookies and you won't feel great, scroll and roll on social media and you'll lose time like Dr Who, never put your phone down and don't be surprised when you lose that special person ... these consequences, they suck and this is all about the positive, the positive actions and the positive results.
So what to do? Simple (it is), we're going to kick the 'buts', rewire the 'habits' and introduce two new friends to the party 'consistency' and 'control'. So here's my top tips to get you moving from "How did that happen?!" to "Hell yeah I owned it!":
- SLOWWWW DOWN! Yes enough of the robot, enough of the to do lists, enough of the white rabbit impression from Alice in Wonderland. Breathe and pause.
- GET OUT OF AUTOMATIC PILOT! Think about what you're doing, radical I know but seriously, take note of you're actions before you do them. Breathe and pause.
- REFRAME IT! Your life is a movie plot; do X and it leads to Y, but what is Y what you really want? Think about it. Breathe and pause.
- TAKE TWO! Now you can rewrite that scene; put the wine down, leave the stationary as it is, get off social media. Action!
See the change? Imagine if you did this for 30 days. Imagine the plot changes, the rewritten scenes. Imagine the fun, the joy, the strides forward and really it is simple; breathe and pause then take the action you choose, not the current habit. Plus, I'll let you into a secret ... the best thing is the more you breathe and pause. take control and the more consistent actions you take, the more positive results you'll see; health, work, relationships, personal. So note this, it's about what you take, no-one else; YOU!.
Are you ready, ready to stride forward and design your future? I've been where you are, I've been overwhelmed, stressed, challenged, like I was on autopilot and I want you to feel how I feel now; happy, in control, inspired and excited. I believe in you, but should you want some support, reach out, drop me a message, I don't bite! Plus .... As an extra I've opened 4 one to one confidence and clarity booster sessions! They'll go quick!
Much love, your coach,
Are you ready? Does this help? I hope so because you’ve helped me by reading this. Drop me a message via the contact page; how can I help you?